5 Things That Helped Me Get Out Of A Dark Place

Ever since I can remember I have always struggled with negative thought patterns. I would go through phases of feeling quite good then, all of a sudden, I’d get myself entangled in a spiral of dark thoughts. It’s only within the last year or so, after learning a bit more about psychology and the mind, I’ve realised that these spirals were due triggering thoughts. The trigger would usually be connected to a core belief of not feeling good enough; in other words a low self esteem. However, for years I was unable to manage it on my own without therapy and/or taking antidepressants; I just thought this must be the way I am. It was like a vicious cycle of being off the pills then I’d have a relapse and then go back on the pills, and then feel disappointed in myself that I was back on the pills again, and so on.

Disclaimer: I have nothing against antidepressants or anyone who takes them. They helped me so much. However, I personally didn’t want to be on them long term. I wanted to get to the root of why I felt and acted this way, rather than masking the feelings with antidepressants.

Without the pills, I didn’t think that anyone would want to be my friend and I would never have a relationship because I was such a horrible person off the antidepressants. I had many anger episodes, which I now realise was anxiety.  It’s only now, at the age of 36 I can rationalise these thoughts and be less reactive to the “triggers”. Don’t get me wrong, I will have days where I’m feeling low and anxious, but I now have ways to cope with it and natural remedies for anxiety. Here are 5 things that have helped…..

Meditation

I try to meditate every night before bed and have been doing this on and off for about a year. It really helps to keep me calm, let go of negative thoughts, sleep peacefully, become more self aware and feel more connected spiritually. When I first started meditating, I would find it very difficult to switch off mentally. My mind would literally race with thoughts and I’d start thinking about something else, get frustrated and stop. However, over time I am now able to completely quieten the mind for around 20 minutes before bed. And I’ve got to the point where I can feel energy in my body and the tension literally lifting from my mind. It sounds a bit strange, but it’s a wonderful feeling. I like to do a guided meditation for anxiety – there are many to choose from on YouTube – Boho Beautiful guided meditations are my favourite at the moment. I definitely notice the days I don’t meditate, I’m much more frantic and have a short fuse! Meditation is my medicine now, and I must do it every night without fail, ideally twice a day but hopefully I’ll get to that one day.

Affirmations

I try to do self love affirmations every day. They seems to kick start my subconscious into believing these statements to be true. Here are the affirmations I will use:

I am strong 

I am confident 

I am capable 

I am assertive 

I am worthy

Prayer

I’m not a religious person, but saying a prayer seems to work wonders. Again, this sounds a bit strange but it feels like I’m talking to a higher force who has my back. I try to start by saying thank you for everything I have (it’s important to have gratitude, but sometimes I forget this bit) then I will say: Please remove these feelings of anxiety and negativity, please take them away. Allow me to be a good mum to Isla and and Teddy. And to be the confident capable person I know I can be. I don’t know why, but I always have a positive day afterwards.

Listening to podcasts/reading

I love to read. It’s definitely a form of escapism for me. I sometimes like to have a fiction and non fiction book going at the same time. Books that I have found particularly helpful at the moment are: Vex King Good Vibes Good Life, Bigger Than Us by Fearne Cotton and Happy by Fearne Cotton. These books all have Spiritual meaning, which I find fascinating. I love listening to podcasts too – it feels like I am involved in the conversation. Im finding the Steven Bartlett Podcasts particularly interesting at the moment. He interviews a series of different guests who are all so inspiring. They talk about how they’ve failed several times, hit rock bottom but just never gave up – this has really helped with my negative thinking patterns and feeling it’s ok to fail, it doesn’t mean you’re a failure and your not good enough, it’s just part of your journey.

Eating high vibrational foods

This is so interesting and very true. I learnt about this while reading Good Vibes, Good Life book by Vex King. Certain foods raise your vibration and therefore put you in a better mood. Examples of high vibrational foods are: green leafy vegetables such as lettuce and kale, fresh berries, nuts, seeds and legumes. You are literally eating the energy from the sun! Foods that can lower your vibration are: fried foods, canned foods, white bread, processed dairy, processed meat and alcohol. I actually noticed my mood significantly improve when I stopped eating tinned tuna. It lowered my mood massively and I think it was the main reason for my chronic anxiety. I do eat chicken and fish but it will be fresh/free range and I try to eat lots of fruit and vegetables. Since I switched my diet up I noticed a huge improvement.

Have you ever felt really low? How did manage it?